ni-tag mo pa kasi siya kiko :(

i just saw his facebook account. he seems happy. i suddenly miss him. actually i always do. i just deny it kahit sa sarili ko. gusto ko maiyak pero para saan pa? :_(
sana talaga masaya siya. he deserves to be happy. pero sana ako rin. i hope i would completely move on and laugh on what i'm writing here now. sana completely happy na ako. yung i would honestly say sa sarili ko na naka-move on na ko completely. haaay...

salamat kay facebook

this is the conversation i had with ex [term of endearment namin since magbreak-up kami] na pinaka-love ko sa lahat when it comes to the fondest memories we shared. kanina ko lang siya naisipang i-add sa facebook since alam kong praning siya na malamang bading siya hehehe may common friends/acquaintances kasi kami na kinapa-praningan niya na baka ma-connect na siya yung naku-kwento kong ex ko na kakilala nila kaya as much as possible eh patago yung contact namin. i'm so proud of this person. he was a biology student nung nakilala ko siya and he's already a doctor now. i believe nag-reresidency na siya sa US now :)
lagi siyang laman ng mga kwento ko sa lahat ng taong nakikilala ko and nakaka-date hehehe
sayang nga lang at putol ung na-capture kong conversation namin, sa facebook chat lang kasi to ang unfortunately wala siyang complete na chat history. *argh*

4:30pm indichrome
alam mo ba twing may nagpapakwento sa akin, lalo na mga nakakadate ko
lagi ko nakkwento ung araw-araw na pagmi-meet natin sa rob place then movie or dinner after

4:30pm t-rex
haha
ako din

4:30pm indichrome
tapos hatid kta senyo na never ko naman nakita haus nyo
hahha

4:30pm t-rex
and we practically close sm megamall everynight
and hatid mo nga ko....and you still have to go home sa Alabang...

4:31pm indichrome
tapos ung up dil dates natin every sunday
it's so pang katulong hahaha
anong megamall every night?

4:31pm t-rex
kala mo kaw lang ha..lagi ka sabit sa kwento ko...

4:31pm indichrome
tae ka ibang tao yta un hmpf

4:31pm t-rex
hindi naman everynight pero diba...kapag nagpunta tau ng megamall....sarado na nasa 4th/5th floor pa tayo
tapos tsaka mo palang ako ihahatid

4:32pm indichrome
ah oki
teka nga pala
may nagtanong s akin eh hindi ko nasagot
san tyo sumasakay pag pauwi na papunta senyo?

4:32pm t-rex
an

4:32pm indichrome
di ba fx tyo lagi nun?

4:32pm t-rex
hmnnn
hindi

4:32pm indichrome
or bus?

4:32pm t-rex
bus til mento ata
tapos jeep
kapag late na
kapag early pa, fx ata

4:33pm indichrome
san tyo nagbubus?

4:33pm t-rex
bus til mento, ung hindi aircon

4:33pm indichrome
hindi ko tlga matandaan hahaha

4:33pm t-rex
bus...kse suck mo pa ko one time dun sa dulo

4:33pm indichrome
naaalala ko kasi ung moments natin sa fx
hahaha
ang evil mo
hahaha
potek un tlga naalala
lol

4:34pm t-rex
kse...ung ang first and only outdoor sex ko

4:34pm indichrome
shet natatawa ako sobra now
nanay ko sbi naloloko na raw ako lol

4:34pm t-rex
arn arn did it sa car...pero nasa car
ikaw bus..public transpo...hehe
haha.
hehe
natandaan mo ung nasa palengke tayo...napagkamalan tau bading....tapos humirit ung isa..."hindi siguro...parehong may itsura eh"
i shared a lot of memories with you...
re:pano kung gusto ko maglambing dahil praning bf ko
ok lang...praning din ako...pero pag naman private at naglambing un...patay na!
ok lang, nung una problema...bwsiet ako...pero later ok na. I can't expect to find all the things i want in just a single person...

4:37pm indichrome
shet corny as it may sound pero medyo naiiyak ako recollecting the good times

4:37pm t-rex
pero with him naman, i couldn't ask for more...so ok lang praning siya sa labas

4:37pm indichrome
everything's nice!
no bad memories

4:37pm t-rex
yeah
except ung sa cubao
bad memories ata un

4:38pm indichrome
ano ung sa cubao?

4:38pm t-rex
after ng inuman at makipaglaplapan ako kay benjie ata un
i'll post sa notes mo...iam thinking of something pa...ayoko naman ilagay lahat dun....parang nag out na din ako kapag ginawa ko yun

4:43pm indichrome

hindi ko n nga naalala ung kay benj

pero nakita mo na ba sya now?

mukha na syang callboy hahaha ang puti n ng mukha!

pero ex n b kta nung kay benj?

4:44pm t-rex
hind..naging tayo nga dahil dun sa laplapan na yun

4:44pm indichrome

ah oo

dating pa lang tyo nun

4:44pm t-rex
dati pa man...malaki na ang potential nya magmukhang callboy

4:44pm indichrome

un ung truth or consequence

4:44pm t-rex
yeah...dating

4:45pm indichrome

kaya pala mga nakakalaplapan nya dati pa eh may potential naman maging matrona

hahaha

4:45pm t-rex
may bf ka ba ngaun

4:45pm indichrome

wala

ikaw lang aaminan ko nito

4:45pm t-rex
ano
may gf ka?

4:45pm indichrome
haays.... hindi pa ako completely nakakamove on

4:45pm t-rex
kanino?
ang last ko nakilala is si si ...bogs

4:47pm indichrome
si derick
ung last ko
oa pero everyday sumasagi sya sa isip ko

4:47pm t-rex
how long na? hindi ko kilala...

4:47pm indichrome
bad trip nga e

4:47pm t-rex
brb, tooth blush lang ko

4:47pm indichrome
ok

4:48pm t-rex
kelan pa kau brak? how long werer u together

4:48pm indichrome
nov 2006 naging kami, nov 2007 nagbreak
isipin mo un, more than 1 yr na

4:50pm t-rex
tagal na...bakit? are you dating?

4:53pm indichrome

hindi rin

may nag-aask out pero hindi na nasusundan hahah

madalas kasi sex agad eh

tapos nawawalan ako ng gana

tapos at the back of my mind nacocompare ko sila sa last ko

tapos madalas ko pang ginagawa kinukwento kta and him hahaha

so malamang nawawalan din sila ng gana lol

4:54pm t-rex
eh...wala na ba talaga si derek? i mean..have you been talking

4:55pm indichrome

hindi

may bf n sya

3 mos after namin magbreak

4:55pm t-rex
aw...
just wait...alam mo naman yan..it will come...

4:55pm indichrome

i really think na he got interested sa bf nya during kami pa

photographer nya kasi un sa photoshoot nya dati

nagmomodel kasi un

or trying to be one lol

4:56pm t-rex
eh ganun naman talaga...someone always comes along....
hindi na maiiwasan un

4:56pm indichrome
dami lng kasing good memories din with him na pati nanay ko hindi nakamove on agad lol

4:57pm t-rex
you really have to find someone who will commit..kahit na someone comes along

4:57pm indichrome
pero now ok naman ako
busy sa work
enjoy kasi ung work e

4:57pm t-rex
onga...so malamang kailangan mo lang ng replacement and you will be fine

4:57pm indichrome
pero weird lng na everyday eh sumasagi sya sa isip ko

4:57pm t-rex
san ka na ba [name ng current company ko]

?
and you're doing accounting ngaun?

4:57pm indichrome
nope
not yet
planning to
bka next yr
now french lessons muna ite-take up ko
hhehehe

4:58pm t-rex
ganun naman talaga...ako din kapag single...i cant always get my ex out of my mind..pero kapag dumating na...chupi na ung dati
ang taray
french

4:58pm indichrome

hahaha tagal nmn ng bagong un lol

4:59pm t-rex
ang dami ko nakilala french dito...when i was traveling around...kapag tinatanong mo..."where are you from"...sagot..."frons"....
nung una mapapaisip pa ko...may frons mo ba
france lang pla.
honestly...i never thought you enjoyed when we were together...kase parang lagi ka naman masaya kahit knino.

5:00pm indichrome

i have the fondest memories with you

5:00pm t-rex
charing na ung fondest.
mwah mwah! i love you ex!!!

5:01pm indichrome

i laughed with other people but i'm happy when we're together

gaga

hindi nman kta para pa ikwento sa lahat ng tao kung hindi ko nattreasure ung pinagsamahan natin

5:02pm t-rex
pero comment ko lang sa pics mo...hindi talga nagbabago itsura mo. cute mo pa din
kala ko kse ako lang nag treasure
hehe

5:02pm indichrome

i still remember the day we broke up

5:02pm t-rex
haha

5:02pm indichrome

hehehe

starbucks sa petron yta un

5:02pm t-rex
i received oranges sa starbux

5:02pm indichrome

hahaha

tanda mo pa?!?!



nice

5:03pm t-rex
un nga dpat lagay ko sa notes knina

5:03pm indichrome

tapos nagtricycle lng tyo

lol

5:03pm t-rex
pero isip na lan gako mas masaya
haha
onga

5:03pm indichrome

you remember yung hinatid kta senyo tapos mag humablot ng bonnet mo?

5:03pm t-rex
onga...hindi mo man lang sinabunutan
ung panaman pinaka expensive ko na bonnet
i remember my bonnet days...kahiya. kadiri
hehe

5:04pm indichrome

hahaha e hindi mo naman binato ng high heel mo hahaha
Chat is down for maintenance. Please try again later.
heels*

5:04pm t-rex
gaga...naka flat ako nun

5:04pm indichrome
Chat is down for maintenance. Please try again later.
nagdown ang chat??
Chat is down for maintenance. Please try again later.
narereceive mo msg ko?

5:05pm t-rex
miss talaga kita...i'll see you soonl

5:05pm t-rex is offline.

5:05pm indichrome
Chat is down for maintenance. Please try again later.
sabi mo yan ha!

5:05pm t-rex is online.

5:05pm t-rex
ang dami ko first sau...
first Bed ko ikaw din may kagagawan

5:05pm indichrome
Chat is down for maintenance. Please try again later.
hahaha

5:06pm t-rex is offline.

5:06pm indichrome
Chat is down for maintenance. Please try again later.
ihuhug tlga kta when i see you hehehe

and unfortunately habang kasarapan ng kwentuhan eh biglang nag-down ang chat service ng facebook. shet talaga. but i really enjoyed the conversation. i'm really looking forward sa pagbalik niya sa pinas. sigurado akong we'll enjoy our conversations again. siguradong happy memories mapapag-usapan namin.

excited na ko makita ka ex! :)

big surprises for '09

there are two things that are in my mind nung maisipan kong bisitahin itong blog ko. alam ko naman kasing mapapasulat ako kapag in-open ko itong blog ko. i want to write more this year. bumalik sa dating practice na lahat halos ng naiisip ko eh isulat ko. para malaman ko kung gaano nagpo-progress [or nagre-regress :(] ang buhay ko [more of takbo ng utak ko hehehe]
una, sobrang lungkot ng na-receive kong balita from my super cool boss last wednesday morning na ililipat na siya ng team. sa sobrang lungkot ko eh umiiyak ako habang sinasabi niya yun sa akin. she's supposed to tell the sad news to our team tomorrow morning pero inuna na raw niya ako since i'll be on a vacation leave until saturday and dahil she promised me na if ever man malilipat siya ng ibang team eh ako raw ang isa sa mga unang makakaalam. i really got sad kasi she became more of a friend to me than a boss. siya yung taong sobrang nagtiwala at sumuporta sa akin. she believes in me so much and i know she loves me as a friend and like a kapatid na rin. i consider her as a mentor. sobrang nalungkot ako kasi mas magiging madalang yung pagkikita namin sa office. siya kasi yung labasan ko ng sama ng loob at iyakan ko kapag malungkot ako. sobrang naging close na rin kami sa office dahil dun. kahit kaninang sinimulan ko itong pagsusulat ng journal ko eh naiyak pa rin ako ng konti kasi siguradong mami-miss ko yung mga pang-aasar niya sa akin halos araw-araw at sa walang sawa niyang pagpapa-alala na linisin ko ang marumi ko RAW na station. haaay... i guess ganun talaga. hindi naman kasi talaga pwedeng habang-buhay eh magkasama kami. iniisip ko na lang na blessing yung pagdating niya sa buhay ko. kasi i realized na i'm fortunate enough pa rin to cross paths with her. i just hope na someday eh we'll be working closely again soon. siguro nga may mas magandang plans si God for us :)
pangalawang nasa isip ko now is yung pag-uusap namin uli ni kiko. hindi kasi kami nag-uusap since july of last year dahil na rin sa nagawa kong kagaguhan sa kanya. i tried apologizing to him and cried a lot sa nagawa ko sa kanya until i decided na bigyan na muna siya ng space at hindi nagparamdam sa kanya dahil na rin advice ng bugnuting ex-bf niya. yug bugnuting ex-bf ni kiko kasi ang madalas kong nakasama at nakakausap nung hindi na ako kinakausap ni kiko. he told me na bigyan muna ng space si kiko and huwag munang kulitin sa pagso-sorry at baka raw lalo lang magalit. so after kong mag-apologize sa kanya ng sa paraang alam ko eh hindi muna ako nagparamdam kay kiko until i greeted him and apologized to him [again!] sa ym after new year. to my surprise eh sumagot siya!

kiko
1/1/09 11:58 PM same to you
1/2/09 6:49 AM di ba sabi mo gagawin mo lahat ng gusto ko para mapatawad kita
1/2/09 6:49 AM may naisip na ko
1/2/09 6:50 AM BUZZ!!!
1/2/09 6:50 AM dali at mag aa-out na ko ng 7
1/2/09 6:51 AM cge next time
1/2/09 6:41 AM bye

indichrome
1/2/09 8:24 AM sorry nakatulog ako nung nag-iim ka
1/2/09 8:24 AM ano ung dapat kong gawin for your forgiveness?

so obviously eh hindi kami nagkausap nung nagreply siya. then nung nag-open ako ng ym ko sa isang internet cafe kinagabihan, i saw his reply sa tanong ko, "bilhan mo ako ng laptop". i don't know if he's just joking or if he's testing how far i'd go to prove kung gaano ako ka-sorry sa kanya. hindi ako maka-isip ng sasabihin sa kanya at that time kaya i decided not to reply to it muna. but after two days, i decided to ask him [sa ym pa rin] if he's serious sa sinabi niya. he told me that it was just a joke and that he's resigning sa company niya. hindi ko na matandaan why hindi kami nakapag-usap ng maayos after that until i decided to check if he is still using the same number by ringing him up [kiko's bugnuting ex-bf told me kasi na kiko changed his number]. nabigla ako nung biglang nag-ring yung phone niya kaya i cancelled the call. then i decided to text him na lang.

indichrome [08-Jan-09 17:20]: Kamusta na? Ito na b uli gnagamit mong number?
kiko [08-Jan-09 19:16]: Jst woke up. Ok naman last day ko n s [current company ni kiko] on fri nagresign nko.
indichrome [08-Jan-09 19:17]: San k lilipat? Ano plan mo na?
kiko [08-Jan-09 19:18]: Magin housewife n lng hehe. S [isang big computer company] nko feb 2 start ng work ko. Usap tau ym later pasok nko.
indichrome [08-Jan-09 19:25]: Really? [isang big computer company]'s a good company. Good to hear ü magkalapit na tyo ü
kiko [08-Jan-09 19:29]: The fort ako gurl.
indichrome [08-Jan-09 19:46]: Nyeks. Ang layo pa. Ano gagawin mo s friday nyt?

wala pa siya reply from my last text and he's not online yet sa ym kaya all i can do for now is wait. i just hope maging okay na uli kami soon. i really miss his company. God is really great for giving me another chance with kiko :)

pahabol na post for 2009

tutal andito na rin naman ako eh post ko na rin itong conversation i had about 10 minutes ago with a facebook buddy [na in-add ko lang kasi cute pero never ko pa nakausap until today] na i will call guy with a sexy geeky smile. siguro naman my name for him already explains kung ano yung kina-attract ko sa kanya davah hehehe :P
i sent him a message through the instant messaging feature of facebook kasi medyo naapektuhan ako and na-curious na rin sa shout-out niya: guy with a sexy geeky smile - 2008 is almost at an END! GOOD RIDDANCE to BAD RUBBISH!
anyway, here it is:

5:48 pm indichrome
happy new year guy with a sexy geeky smile

5:48 pm guy with a sexy geeky smile
Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Happy New Year!

5:48 pm indichrome
hahaha
i sense a little bit of bitterness on your greeting dude

5:49 pm guy with a sexy geeky smile
Can't be helped
2008 started bad fer me
loooooooooong story

5:50 pm indichrome
but hopefully it will end good for you

5:52 pm indichrome
life's too good to miss out the good things

5:52 pm guy with a sexy geeky smile
true

5:52 pm indichrome
you just maybe looking at the wrong directions

when you get pissed off takas ka lang saglit sa manila.
i found out that a short trip really does wonders to a bothered mind
anyway, won't be bothering you anymore. have a happy new year dude
catch you around

5:54 pm guy with a sexy geeky smile
happy new year, bud


feeling ko nung kalagitnaan ng conversation na parang off na naglilitanya ako sa kanya ng kung anu-anong parangal/unsolicited advices kahit hindi naman niya hinihingi at kahit kakausap pa lang namin for the first time kaya ako na nag-cut ng conversation namin and just bid goodbye. siguro lang i just feel bad na feeling ko maganda yung year 2008 for me tapos may ibang taong bad trip pala for 2008.
i just really hope na 2009 will start right and great for him. para naman mas maraming good vibes for 2009 :)
happy new year again, bitches! :P

hny!

happy new year, bitches! hehehe i just want to say thank you sa lahat ng taong naging bahagi ng buhay ko kahit sa mga putang inang gumawa ng masama sa akin at nanakit sa marupok kong damdamin hehehe kunsabagay kung hindi dahil sa mga pinaggagagawa ninyo sa akin eh hindi siguro ako magiging kung ano man ako right now. marami pa naman akong dapat baguhin at ipag-improve sa sarili ko pero i could say na sobrang ang laki ng inilaki ko emotionally dahil sa mga nangyari sa akin this year and from the past years. hindi pa man ako perfect sa lagay kong ito but at least i'm getting there nyahahaha
hindi man ako religious, hindi man ako nagsisimba, masasabi ko pa rin na ang faith ko and love kay God eh buo. i have my own way of having a relationship with him. hindi man siguro tama sa iba na i'm not doing the usual catholic rituals pero i know naman in my heart who my real God is. kesa naman sa iba na simba nga ng simba almost everyday pero hypocrite pa rin :P
ooopsss... napapa-daldal na naman ako dito. ang sabi ko nga lang sa sarili ko eh simpleng pagbati lang ng happy new year ang gagawin ko pero bigla na naman ako napasulat hehehe so i guess i better end this blog with a happy new year shout-out sa lahat ng mga kakilala ko at nagmamahal sa akin [alam ko milyon kayo harharhar] at belated merry christmas na rin tsaka paghingi na rin ng pasensya na bihira na ako nakakapagsulat dito. busy na rin kasi ako ng konti sa personal life ko kahit wala pa akong dyowa hehehe
again, maraming salamat sa love, support and changes you brought to my life! love y'all! [as -m would put it ;P]